Professionalism, Repression, and Emotion

There are times when we need to be mature and hold our tongues from saying something we may regret. However, when it comes to conflict with those who are in a higher company position or better perceived “status” than us, we may think twice before we give voice to the important part of our mind that is calling for a needed change. Perhaps we fear losing our jobs, losing face, or we simply don’t want to deal with the discomfort that may come along with disagreements.

It’s often wise to wait for our ideas to come to a full fruition before we give voice to our thoughts. However, if we let those in authority run the show without any feedback due to a fear that we may rock the boat, then we’re setting ourselves up for frustration through repression. Giving voice to matters that are important is not only healthy to you as a person, but for the community in which you are serving. No one wants to look incompetent - so often times, questions, concerns, and doubts go without being addressed.

In a similar vein, it’s ok to be angry when someone is treated unfairly. Verbal abuse and bullying can go under the radar do to the lack of “breaking any rules.” It’s necessary to stand up for what’s right, even if the environment seems unsupportive for your cause. We should never let a “stable” paycheck allow us to compromise our morals, integrity, and thoughts. The one who is bold to speak is often the one to move up through the ranks faster. However, the one who is bold is most at risk for getting kicked out. When all is said and done, having a higher respect for yourself because you decided to stand up for what you believe far outweighs any paycheck. A line between arrogance and respect for others, an yourself, needs to be established in order for this to be effective

We have to allow ourselves to feel the feelings that we have. A sense of “professionalism” is doing a disservice to everyone if we allow ourselves to look down upon arguments, anger, and concern – as if they were bad things in themselves. Of course, we shouldn’t let anger and disagreements get the best of us and cause our egos to become the aggressors. That would cause a new set of problems to occur if we don’t keep our priorities in check.

However, every emotion has its place. Whether is “right” or not – we can’t ignore that it’s the present feeling. If we conclude that the emotion is inappropriate or based in self-righteousness, then we still have to address the causes behind that emotion. Often times we shame ourselves for feeling a certain emotion. If I feel anxious about an important photography job, it would be counter-productive for me to tell myself, “Get your act together” or “Don’t be weak.” These responses will only compound the problem.

In order to get past the emotions that we dislike and get unnecessarily hung-up on, we need to understand what the root fear or concern is. If I were to get nervous before a photography shoot, I can simply tell myself that being nervous is totally fine. Even better – not only is it totally fine, but it’s actually unnecessary to feel nervous because it’s fine to make mistakes and have unexpected problems happen. They simply happen to everyone. Once I can address a negative emotion and break down the cause behind it, then I’m free to go back to my clear state of mind. We don’t need to feel ashamed of negative emotion – we simply need to understand it and calm the fears of our subconscious mind.

We need to deeply understand our emotions and deal with them without avoidance. It takes a lot of patience because many beliefs we have internalized as truth need to be re-evaluated and understood. Without a clear understanding of negative emotions, we often push them away without understanding why they perpetuate themselves. Silence, patience, prayer, acceptance and understanding are more thank just words. They need to be apart of your daily lifestyle.

For further reading, please check out: Slowly but Surely.