Responding to Negativity

Negativity is rampant - it’s easy because we live in an imperfect world. So, why not just unload all the burdens of our lives on the next guy? Or even easier, why not do it anonymously and say something inappropriate and rude on the Internet from the comfort of being behind our computers? Because of the widespread availability of connections through the Internet, we are more capable of seeing the worst behaviors of people.

Negativity is really just laziness and cowardice to a certain degree. There’s a difference between thoughtfully discussing a concern or stressful issue that we have to deal with. Releasing our pressure through a mindful conversation can be a good and necessary release. However, there is a kind of people who make a lifestyle out of being cynical, sarcastic, and negative about their view of everything.

Nothing is more draining and exhausting than listening to an overdramatic person whine about the difficulties and troubles of their lives. While everyone has a right to be loved and encouraged, there is a balance between how much help we get from others and how much we choose to help ourselves. If we rely on the world to push up our self-esteem and pat us on the back, regardless of how much we put ourselves down, then we’re just simply being a nuisance.

People are more inclined to help others who also help themselves. There’s no real relationship present if one person always has the pull the weight of the other person. In addition to that, there’s nothing worse than a relationship in which the couple or family makes a lifestyle out of communicating in a manner based upon negativity, self-entitlement, and selfishness.

So how do we respond if we have those kinds of people in our lives? Even more, what do we do if we are those kinds of people and we haven’t even realized it until recently?

Initially, negative people are looking to suck the life out of someone else. It feels good to find someone to have a hate-party with. It also feels good for the negative-type to simply see others become reduced down to the same level of discontentment and bitterness as them.

Ideally and if possible, simply ignore these people – not by being rude, but by simply not taking the bait to talk negatively about a topic. You don’t need to swing the other way and say something overly positive or you may come across as “insulting” them through a “disagreement.” Remaining neutral or somewhat indifferent is often best in the case of strangers and acquaintances.

If the negative people are apart of your family, then a more serious talk will need to take place. It’s easier said than done, of course, but if no one stops them, they will keep doing the same thing over and over again because they are getting their desired results. However angry you get at them is irrelevant to them and the silent treatment doesn’t work on these people. When speaking to them, being objective about their behavior at hand, the effect it has on others, and how you feel goes along way into helping the problem. No one likes to feel blamed, so it’s better to talk about how you feel negatively impacted rather than pointing the finger at him or her.

If we are those kinds of negative people, then we simply need to look on the positive side. It’s not uncommon to find our lives out of balance, especially when we’re always developing. What we need to do is take an honest look at ourselves and figure out what we need and how we can obtain it. There’s hard work that goes into life, but that’s apart of growing up and being mature. If we can think less about our needs and think about how we can make a better community, then we can appreciate our role within it.

We don’t need to be the best person at everything and be admired by everyone. Perhaps this is why some people never try and become bitter as a result. We would benefit from seeing the bigger picture and how much more we can get out of life if we focus on what we can put into it rather than how much we can get out of it.

For further related reading, please check out: Self is Second.