Be Yourself

Being yourself isn’t a ticket out of social responsibility, and it’s not as selfish as it initially sounds. The expression may conjure associations to just being an often over-used expression - and it may be hard to take to heart sometimes because of its seemingly vague, feel-good connotations. While it may seem like common advice to “be yourself,” what exactly are the implications and benefits – and where do we start?

To gain the value from this statement, we need to understand what exactly we stand to gain. The value in being yourself is far more of a gift to others than it is a free reign of indulgence.

Most of us have met people who are very comfortable with themselves. The kind of people who don’t try to impress you with big words or talk about their past accomplishment in hopes to gain some sort of respect. When someone is comfortable being themselves, they are capable of connecting with others on a genuine level. A state of mind that seems be harder and harder to maintain as we become older.

When we look at children, they are always being themselves. Yes, they may be immature and greedy sometimes, but those are things that change through experience and growth. Being comfortable with yourself at an older age doesn’t mean that you are still going to be immature or greedy. Being yourself and greediness don’t hold a direct relationship.

I find it refreshing when I meet someone who is totally comfortable saying something embarrassing, saying something unpopular, or simply feels happy to express what’s on their mind without expecting a certain reaction. It reminds us all that we are human, have personalities, needs, and are free to express ourselves without judgment from others needing to be seen as something to be feared.

Someone out there isn’t going to like you. However, there are people out there who will like you a lot. Of course, we’re all unique, but we’re social creatures meant to bring our uniqueness into the lives of others. We stand to gain so much more depth through give and take relationships. If we try to suppress ourselves in hopes of not looking foolish, then that we will likely be suppressing ourselves in front of everyone – even the people who would fully enjoy us. It’s hard to begin a relationship with a stifled personality.

Allowing ourselves to be free from the judgment of others is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself. Ultimately, what matters to you? When we all pass away someday, we know that those people who didn’t like us are also going away as well. Is it worth worrying about such an impermanent person? Or, if the problem is that people who “judge” us cause us to feel insecure, then we should learn and get to the root of that insecurity. Then, do everything in your power to become a strong person – then you will respect yourself and insecurity begins to dissolve. Everything in life is a teacher of some kind - we don’t need to perceive hard times as always being losses. Every trouble allows us to learn, grow, and move forward.

For further related reading, please check out: Change Focus