Handling "Brutal Honesty"

There are certain types of people who pride themselves in being “brutally honest.” I quite dislike this expression because it’s a charade – an act in which the person is pretending to be doing something helpful, when in reality, it’s just an excuse for one’s lack of tact and respect. “Brutal honesty” it’s just a way to try to win dominance by slapping others in the face with words.

Everyone has heard the expressions, “Treat others how you would like to be treated” as well as, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all.” These truly are golden rules to live by, and should never lose the weight of their meaning due to repetition or frequent usage. There are two different ways to tell someone criticism – constructive or destructive. While the former does its best to build up the one being critiqued, the latter does what it can to tear them apart.

The problem with handling people who lack social tact and the concept of being respectful is that there will be a hint of truth to what they say - albeit a twisted truth, it tends to further bother the victim due to exaggeration of details. It’s hard to argue against those who exaggerate because it can cause us difficulty in “winning” the argument when there are gray areas involved.

Basically, we can’t change how others think, but we do have control over how we act. We all make mistakes, and we shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes. An inhibited life due to fear of making mistakes is going to cause us to do much less positive in the world. Mistakes are forgivable to those who ask for forgiveness. When we can see that everyone makes mistakes, we don’t have to feel shame for making them. Mistakes don’t define us as people. So, when we feel judged and overly criticized, we would be wise to objectively see the truth about ourselves rather than soak in all the additional negativity and labeling.

When you don’t take the given negativity in, the other person retains it. Also, negativity is a reflection of insecurity in one’s character. Perhaps it’s due to the inability to accept one’s flawed nature, so it bring a sad pleasure to see others suffer more than themselves. A happy and secure person tries to help others. Those with insecurity want to spread the insecurity to feel safer.

While it may seem impossible, we should do what we can to pray for those who bring us down. Who else is going to help them? It’s likely that whatever episodes we have with those people are not isolated events. They are likely spreading that negativity in other areas with other people just as innocent as you. You can’t fight fire with fire, but love conquers all things. Hate is an easy response to those who do wrong to us, while love takes a deep character.

For further related reading, please check out: Calm Over Happy.