Fractured, Not Broken

It’s no secret that we all go through hard times; it’s a natural part of life. We may feel inferior or intimated by others when we focus too much on our own imperfections. We may question the value of what we could actually contribute because we know all too well of all the mistakes we’ve made in the past. When hardships come in life, they can damage our self-esteem and cause some faltering. However, no matter how hard things get, or how much damage we’ve sustained, we have the choice and ability keep moving forward. When we become fractured, we still are quite capable of being useful.

In this world, we are all “flawed.” Ironically, these flaws can draw us to connect better with others. These “flaws” that we all carry make us more relatable people. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s hard to make friends with rigid people who demand too much of themselves, because it means that they will likely unrealistically demand too much of you. Friendships build each other up, not tear each other down. I hate “friendly” banter and put-downs. No matter how much of a “joke” it may be, the energy behind it can cause unseen, inner strife.

People don’t typically dive into friendships with insecure people. However, there is something incredibly appealing about someone who is completely comfortable with his or her own flaws. They admit their fears, they talk about their shortcomings, they know they aren’t the smartest, the richest, or the funniest person in the room, but they are completely happy and cool with it. There is something so refreshing about a profoundly ordinary person enjoying life just as it is.

While I think we should always strive to be our best, there is a lot that is out of our hands. Having a good heart is better than having perfect grades in school. Being honest is better than taking some shortcuts to get a raise at work. Being with friends is way more fulfilling that spending time with people we simply want to impress. The expression “alone with everybody” is a perfect example is disconnection in a busy and populated environment.

So, we’ve taken some damage in life. It’s not a big deal – we can heal. The hardest part about healing is accepting the need for healing. All too often, we want to be tough, drink alcohol, or keep ourselves busy so to avoid the dull silence of dealing with repressed hurt and damage of the past. Honesty goes a long way into building friendships. Forget what you’ve seen in movies – be vulnerable, help others, and help yourself. The relief and excitement form healing and connecting to others makes us more effective and useful, even with any sustained damage.

For further related reading, please check out: Your Own Worst Enemy.