Those We Let In
Those around us help shape our ideas. While it’s good to try to reach out to those in need, negative people will eventually affect us and bring us down. It’s great to love and care for others, but our own mental health definitely needs to be respected and maintained, as well. We can’t force others to change when they are not prepared to change. They need to be willing to change in order to actually change. Change is flimsy and unreliable when it depends simply upon the request of another person.
Those we surround ourselves with should make us want to develop. Diamonds shape other diamonds. A diamond cannot be shaped and developed by weaker material. While a diamond can help shape and mold other materials, the diamond itself is in need of having a material of the same caliber as a means to develop.
We become more like the people we spend our time with. If we find our friends to be toxic, gossiping, or living a lifestyle incongruent with our values, then we need to drop those friends. It’s not careless or unloving to protect ourselves from falling into a lifestyle of mediocrity. We would do a better service to everyone by taking care of ourselves and respecting our values. When we are taking care of ourselves and living right, we then are further capable of reaching out to others from a position of love.
Fake laughing at friend’s jokes, being nice, and always saying “yes” is not what being loving is about. It’s also not an honest way to live. We become less effective for what we’re called to be when we focus on being “nice” as often as possible. Our job isn’t to please others and make them feel comfortable. The goal of life is not keeping happy relationships and avoiding awkward moments as often as possible. Love comes from being honest with others, even when it hurts.
There’s a difference between being kind and being nice. Being nice is likely going to lead to being a pushover in most circumstances. Being kind is having the capability to be compassionate and genuinely forgiving of others. Kindness is rooted in maturity, security, and strengthening. This takes active practice. Being kind does not put an emphasis on comfort and happy times. Kindness shines during hard times and leads to growth in relationships.
Who we let into our lives will have a significant impact on the way we live and think. While we can’t (and shouldn’t) live our lives in a sheltered place away from all danger, we need to find quality friends or family with whom we can confide in. We would be wise to surround ourselves with the kind of people we admire. We then would begin to learn the mannerism, habits, and traits of those whom we view as successful.
For further related reading, please check out: 6 Months.
