Refresh and Renew
Leaving an ugly situation in the past in no easy task, especially when there is a substantial amount of time and emotion are involved. Hurts from the past can leave us spending an excessive amount of time ruminating on what could have changed, and how we could have handled the situation better. However, no matter how shameful the past is, there is always the option to forgive, both ourselves and the others involved. Additionally, we need to be honest about it and learn to move forward.
What’s difficult for many people is realizing that they are a developing person. We are always learning. Unless we have willingly inhibited our opportunities for growth, we are going to be different people than who we were at any point in the past. We need to learn to refresh the perception we have of ourselves and learn to renew by healing the mistakes of the past.
We’re not defined by our mistakes, and we’re also not defined by our successes. Who we are is a separate entity unto itself. I’ve had many times in which I’ve been successful and have achieved the results I wanted. Additionally, I’ve failed many times while attempting to do something new. If I depended upon those very moments to define my worth, I would be like a boat in a storm – constantly fluctuating with no control.
When it’s time to forgive people, it’s not easy, especially when trust has been broken. However, they aren’t going to be defined by that offense, even if they’ve made that offense multiple times. If we define someone as “bad” or some similar label, then we are ignoring the full spectrum of their character, actions, and wrongfully keep them in an “unforgiven” category.
“Let no mall pull you low enough to hate him.” –Martin Luther King Jr.
Forgiving doesn’t mean being naïve, but simply being understanding of human nature. We all mess up, and sometimes pretty badly. Sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again. The faster we can forgive others, is the easier it is to accept our own faults. This isn’t to say that everyone should live carelessly or we should discount the importance of discipline and development. On the contrary, we begin to be more productive, and are able to work our way out of a vicious cycle when we are able to throw off excessive guilt.
Life doesn’t have a defining point - it’s in a constant flux. When we’re honest with ourselves, and can keep our minds updated, we’re then free to live in the present moment and truly give our attention to what’s needed right now.
For further related reading, please check out: Locked Into Negative Thinking.
