Overcoming Upsets
We all deal with people who can really irritate us. Different personalities and opinions – they’re a blessing and a curse. My photography partner has an expression on the background of his phone that says, “Don’t let the actions of others affect your inner peace.” Very true, but often difficult to apply in real life when emotions begin to distort thinking and cause us a great deal of frustration.
First, we need to remain calm by taking a deep breath. Any arguments should not be called “an argument” but rather “a discussion.” As soon as it becomes an “us vs. them” mentality, we’re setting ourselves up to fight, not to solve problems. If, through experience and practice, we can take the approach to work with the other person to reach a conclusion, then that would be the best route to take.
However, some people are our to be unpleasant, behave irresponsibly, and seem to want to pick fights with us. In these cases, think of it this way: whoever loses their temper first, loses the situation. It’s imperative to remain calm, especially if the other person is insulting or getting overly emotional.
Allow emotions to win over sound and calm logic makes us look weak. The more we let anger take control, the more insecure and out-of-control we look. We need to be as objective as possible, discuss the reality of the matter, and then immediately drop the matter afterwards – get it out of your hair. It’s not easy, but the longer we stay in the present moment, the easier it is for the past to go where it needs to go.
If we find ourselves unable to control our emotions, then we need to do some inner work and realign ourselves properly. What’s causing us to overreact and feel too emotional? Perhaps we feel insecure about ourselves. Perhaps we know deep down that we’re doing the wrong thing. Perhaps we know that we got caught and we’re trying to fight back in order to avoid the shame and embarrassment for messing up. The truth can sting sometimes, but it needs to be faced in order to get ourselves functioning properly.
Disciple takes effort and time. It’s easy to just zone out and wish for things to fall into our lap. However, life often demands that we earn what we get. This doesn’t always apply to the material things that we may inherit, but it sure applies to inner strength and character. Money is no way to prove we’re winning. Inner strength and handling conflicts is necessary to keeping inner peace and promoting a healthy environment for others.
Do the inner work, take the less-easier path, and choose the right way to go. It’s simple. Often, we do whatever we want, eat bad food, don’t exercise, and stay up too late, then we wonder why life is working the way we want it to. We feel like it should work out because we feel like we’re “good enough” people. However, many of our everyday decisions could be improved, and it will directly affect our self-esteem, happiness, and peace. We don’t need perfection, but one good decision allows for momentum to make that next good decision. Allow yourself small steps, and let the momentum move you forward rather than forcing it to happen.
For further related reading, please check out: Those We Keep Close.
