Handle Difficult People
We all have those people in our lives that who love to push our buttons. Whether it’s an interaction with a random stranger, an annoying coworker, boss, or someone difficult who’s apart of your family, you can count on dealing with this type of person at some point in time. If you aren’t prepared, they can get under your skin and cause a lot of unnecessary frustration. So, what can we do to get rid of them? Which fights do we choose to engage in? What’s the most appropriate response to their actions? The answer may be unexpected, but fortunately, it’s quite simple.
We need to feel good and feel confident about ourselves. Negative and annoying people only bother us because we feel a need to either change their actions or change their minds. This is especially true when we are not secure with our own identity. We need to focus on care for ourselves. We need to look at what bothers us about the offender. Perhaps they disrespect us, taunt us, bully, try to defame us, etc. That can be pretty upsetting when it’s undeserved and unwarranted.
However, if we’re confident and feel good about ourselves, we can let that person’s opinions slide off our shoulders – we can’t be bothered. If we are the person we want to be, then we don’t need to waste our time convincing our worth to others. Liars and big talkers earn their own reputation, they don’t just strike once – it’s a lifestyle for them until they are (hopefully) ready for change.
Throughout my life, I’ve had one person in particular bother me. While I would work to defend myself and try to prove my worth, I realized I only came off as more desperate. I was allowing this person to control my actions by trying to prove myself as a worthy person. Perhaps I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, and they discredited me because of some misled thinking. What it came down to was this person’s insecurity and continuance to target me in order to feel better.
Ignoring someone can work for a while. However, it can breed contempt. If we can actively respect ourselves and not demonize the other person, then we can begin to acquiesce into a neutral position. Contrary to initial instinct, people are not their actions - it’s important to separate the two. Everyone is more than the action of a moment.
People who are insecure need love, attention, and validation. If we are comfortable with ourselves, then we can work to make those people comfortable as well. However, people will change when they are ready to do so. It’s our responsibility to avoid holding a grudge, and further jading our perception. It’s not our responsibility to change others, but to take care of ourselves.
For further related reading, please check out: Lessons & Time in the Shadows.
